Conversations with X

My husband and I have been having a lot of fun sharing our new developments with Xander, our 5 year old son. We have a great video taken at about the 13 week mark asking him if he would like a baby brother or sister. His response? No. Babies just knock things over. Before we took the video he explained to me one day that he would like to have a brother, but not a baby, someone that was already his age. So we broke the news to him that I did have a baby in my belly (at 13 weeks we only knew of one) and it would in fact come out a baby. He came around, accepting the news, and the next day when my husband picked him up from school rather than me, he asked if his baby "brudder" was out yet and that's why mommy didn't come to school.

At 14 weeks it all changed. Although X was at the hospital with us when it all went down, he focused on playing his...well USED to be my....DSi. We waited a few days to explain the concept of twins to him, mostly because even though the doctor said everything was fine, I was yet to be convinced. After about a week we got another video where daddy explained that mommy had TWO babies instead of just one in her belly. His response? Oh man, I'm getting outta here. Apparently we've taken to teasing him about diaper duty just a little far. He's pretty convinced that every time a baby needs to be changed that will be HIS job. A nice dream for me....

Yesterday, I'm about 18ish weeks now, the heartbreak happened. I'm surprised I didn't see it coming because I've read so many accounts of this happening, but it blindsided me none the less. The three of us were sitting in the living room and randomly (if you don't know him you will learn that my son is EXTREMELY random) X asked me if I still wanted him to be healthy. I assured him that of course I want him to be healthy! X: But why? Me: What do you mean why? Because when you're healthy, you're happy, and happy is best. X: But you don't need me anymore. Me: What?! What do you mean I don't need you? X: Because you have a new baby. It's in your belly. (he's still a little foggy on the twin concept) At this point my husband thankfully entered into the conversation! Marvin: But you're our first baby buddy, we'll always need you. X: Are you sure? When we both assured him that we would always need him he seemed satisfied, but I will have to keep my eye on this!! Life is certainly going to change for all of us but we will have to be super careful to make sure our first "baby" always feels secure!