On this page I'll be sharing the wisdom I garnish from my 5 year old son!
July 24th
Mom! I found a pregnant lady BIGGER than you! Really I did! She was bigger!! (Leaving Zellers...she wasn't pregnant...)
July 16th
Mom, I'm holding onto the floor so I don't fall. (okaaaay) With my toes?
July 8th
Uh! My butt got kicked by my own foot!
July 2nd
Me: Oh look at that bird watching all the people go by! X: I see Tarzan.
I want to go to .com.
June 29th
This is like my favourite nightmare.
June 25th
Woah! Mom! How did your belly get fatter!?
Sometimes to distract girls into playing with me I yell "pants on fire! Pants on fire!" (while grabbing his bum)
June 20th
Mom, the last day I fell out of bed and I was like a tuna salad because my blanket was wrapped up all around me.
June 16th
Mom, if I'm going to be a teacher, you're gonna have to learn me stuff like how to read. Teacher's aren't funny mom. You should stop laughing.
June 9th
Me: What were you doing in the bathroom so long? X: Cleaning it. (DANGER DANGER!)
(after A sneezed while touching his leg) Ugh! She bless youed all over me!
June 8th
Ooooohhhhh stretch! But not too much, I'm getting to be an old man.
June 4th
Me (to M): Today is a day that I miss Pizza Delight. X: You peed on a light?!
June 3rd
X: *singing* Fiiiiiirrrrrree sur le wrap. Me: (after 6 or 15 times) Honey, the words are "and I set fire to the rain." X: Why? No, it's not. Because I hear "fire sur le wrap" because they say it so fast.
Everybody can dance mom. Even when I have to pee I can dance. Because sometimes I dance when I have to pee.
June 2nd
Mom, what's plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one? Me: Six. X: No! It's fish!!
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, EIGHTEEN!!
May 30th
Mom, when the babies come out I think we should call them names.
(Listening to the radio) Mom, did he say "electric mommy?" Me: No, "electrify me." X: "Electric find things?" Me: Yeah sure. X: So he's trying to find things that are electric? Me: Yep, why not?
May 29th
Well, I don't know their names, but I think I have 10 friends.
Mom, I never thought of this before but you should hear it. If I was eating honey nut cheerios and had them in my mouth and then accidently coughed they would all come right out of my mouth and maybe I would get you. That would be so.........not good. Well.....not good for you. It might be funny for me.
May 25th
But I didn't know dad was sick! Now he won't get better because I didn't pray for him to not be sick!
May 22nd
I don't think I have a snail in my mouth. That would be gross wouldn't it?
May 21st
Me: Those 2 boys you were playing with at the park, were they twins? X: No. One had a hat and one didn't.
May 20th
(Listening to the weather report predicting a thunder storm with showers) Oh no! I prayed for rain and now there's going to be a storm!?! Really mom, I prayed for rain, not a storm!
May 15th
Mom, I wish I was a real Luigi. Do you know why? I don't know why because I forgot.
Some time today mom, I'm going to be a fan of Justin Bieber. No. REALLY SOON!!
May 10th
Mom, you would not like to be a cowboy because you would have to get up really early in the morning to look for water. And you would have to chase outlaws and bad guys.
May 8th
Mom, every brain in my head is asleep except one.
I didn't know I could cut my teeth into a rainbow! I mean, when I bite into my sandwhich it makes a half circle like a rainbow!
May 6th
I love movies mom. Even new movies that I haven't watched in 14 years! Or a hundred years!
If I were an experimenter boy I could mix lemonaid with tomato sauce from my spiderman alphagetti and I would taste it. It would be the grossest in the universe, but I want to do it anyway!
Mom, have you ever been surrounded by aliens? Me: No. X: I thought you would say that.
Hey! Who covered my eyes up with peanut butter? Oh. That was me.
May 5th
I'm tired of being Mario. I'm going to be Luigi now ok? Luigi says Mamma Mia too...but not as much.
May 4th
Mom, I've changed my name to Mario ok? So tell daddy to call me Mario when he comes back. Mamma Mia! Mamma Mia! That's what Mario says! Mamma Mia! Mamma Mia! (for about 3 hours Mamma Mia!)
May 3rd
(While at a McDonald's with a play area) X: Mom, when I'm done lunch can I go back and play run away from girls and scream like a girl? Me: Sure, you can play run away from girls all you want. X: Oh man! This is my best day of life!
May 2nd
I hate school! They're not helping me learn to read!
May 1st
Mom, I'm a water drop. Not a real water drop. A man drop.
I'm so freaked out. No, I'm not freaked out. I am so pregnant!
Mom, have you ever got dressed with a beetle in your head?
