Surprise!

I've back spaced over the opening of this post a few times now! And then I accidentally deleted the whole post. Grrr. A year hey? I hardly believe you, only my kids have gotten bigger, and all the previous posts have an annoying date function. So, I guess I do believe.

So why? Well, I have a few reasons. My cute little six month old babies got all mobile, and made my life even more cray-cray. My husband bought me an iPad, and anything I couldn't do with it, I just stopped doing. Also, I had tried to make my blog up-beat, positive, and whenever possible, funny. The last few months especially have not been those things for me.

So why start again now? Well, I figured that you might get a kick out of hearing about the little demons who replaced my babies, and their older brother. I mean, sometimes I want to sell my children to the gypsies. I mean my angels are perfect, what's your problem? I bought a blog app! Hopefully it will work out for me, although, as I've already accidentally deleted an entire post, I'm still skeptical. And finally, I thought that if I attempt to be more real 'out loud,' then maybe I'll realize that things are not so bad, and I can handle it!

So I invite you to come back. Please come back. I hope you read, enjoy, laugh, and share. Please remember though, this blog may read a little different then it did a year ago. Also, my house is the house of non-judging. Except for ignorant jerks. I totally judge ignorant jerks. While this paragraph may seem like a collection of separate, disjointed ideas, neither you, nor I, have any idea what I'll write tomorrow.

I've thought about going back and adding the word 'so' to the beginning of the first paragraph, you know, to make it all matchy-matchy, but have decided to try to break that habit again. Starting now.




Demons.

The excitement in my life

I got to go out on Saturday! Can you believe it? I make it sound as though I've been chained to the house, but I just get super excited when I get to leave the house with the kids (with supervision, of course) still in it! I went to a real-life, honest to goodness, fantastically exciting, roller derby bout! My sister and I have been wanting to go, but feared we wouldn't be able to find tickets! It turns out the girl who drives my Mother's new carpool is a team member! So my sister and I ended up at the roller derby with my parents, a friend of my Mom's and a friend of hers. An unlikely group, I'll grant you, but we made them sit in suicide seating! Hahahaha! That means there was a very good chance we would get crashed into. But we didn't. Too bad. It was really great, from beginning to end. There were tables with t-shirts and other fan gear for each team, and the refs, a hotdog truck outside, and teenagers on roller skates selling programs! Everything was so wildly professional! The athletes warmed up in their fishnets and miniskirts, with their nicknames on the back of their tank top jersey, or on their butt. The national anthem was performed with great talent, and many of the 1100 fans joined in. The music was loud, the cheering was louder and the refs' whistles were loudest! It didn't seem that the beer gardens were hopping with business, but people must have been sneaking in when I wasn't looking! There were 2 particular fans that really stood out in the crowd, mostly because they had accidentally bought the ladies tank top fan gear, and nearly fell out of the stands every time a particular jammer came out. My sister and I enjoyed watching their antics almost as much as the bout itself! In the end the home team, the Tar Sand Betties, lost by 4 points. But really, the entire bout was so fantastic that no one cared about the score. It was just win-win! This was the first home game for the Betties, and hopefully the great fan turn out will encourage more in the near future! By the way, my sister and I both want to join up. There are a few obstacles in the way though. It seems they play 4 or 5 away games for every home game, and I don't know that the kids are ready for Mommy to be gone for 2-3 days at a time yet. Also, I'm in no shape to rollerskate for 2 hours! Maybe next year? ;)

Hey you, why you no blog?

Good question, right? It seems that every time I open this page, (and this time was no different) somebody, somewhere, cries. I started this post yesterday. But yesterday I was sitting on the deck in the morning sun with the girls, and the 'I don't need Mommy' time lasted about 5 minutes. Today it is overcast and chilly so we're inside and they're napping. So shhhh! The other excuse that I have is I feel like I have very little of interest to share. My life is all babies, X, M, and other family that live in town. My babies are growing teeth, X is writing stories, and M is back to work. Don't know if I can make any of that interesting enough... Oh wait, I have one fun fact. The last couple of days I've been worried about L, in an over-protective sort of way. It seemed that I couldn't do anything to make her happy! She didn't want to be held, cried in The exersaucer, lasted in the jumper for 5 minutes, didn't want to roll around on the floor, I ran out of ideas! So I let her put her feet on the floor while I held her up, and she started to pull at my hands! She wanted me to let go! She wants walk! She can't crawl, she can sit up for only a little bit before she falls over to the side, but has decided that it is time for her to walk on her own! Now I know! and YOU know, that if I let go she'll smash her face on the floor, but have you ever tried to use logic with a 7 month old? It's not a pretty sight! Using logic on a 7 month old is almost as frustrating as trying logic on the drunk people taking a nap on the lawn last night. Oh yeah! Good story! In the year and a bit that we've lived here, this has never happened before, so family and friends, don't worry about the area of town okay? I went to pick up M from work last night and there were a couple of ladies trying desperately to cross the street without falling over. We wondered if they were just laughing at a super funny joke or actually inebriated, but we continued home. I took M around to the front of the house to show him the flowers we planted, and there they were! So completely exhausted from the effort of crossing the street while 'laughing' that they were taking a break on the lawn! Now every house I can see from my front lawn has children 10 and younger living in it, so we had to do something. I'm all about calling people, but M wanted to save his buddies the paperwork, so he convinced the least giggly to lead the other home. Talk about the blind leading the blind! But they made it. I hope. The neighbours enjoyed watching M give them the polite heave-ho! Maybe they'll start talking to us. Maybe. Have a good day!

Things that make you go WHAT

Ok, this is my first attempt at blogging using my new iPad, so here's hoping it works! Might have a couple of auto corrects along the way, so be patient with me if I cease to make sense! :)

In my last post I indicated that people still ask me if the girls are identical. It's true, they do. And sometimes they stare for a while to compare to see if they can pick out any differences. It can get a little weird, or as X likes to say, AWKWARD! But this week we had the strangest encounter yet! Let me tell you about it!

We decided to make an outing of going to pick X up from school one day, so girls in stroller, M, AM, and I walk to the elementary school. Where only elementary school aged children, their parents and teachers are. I point this out to make the inappropriateness of this encounter more obvious.

As we were walking around the building to get to the door X comes out of, a mom (I assume) with a little girl in tow says, "Aww! Two little girls! You're going to have to buy lots of birth control! And pony tail holders! And polish your gun!"

Right. Here's the thing. After almost 6 months, we have ceased stopping for random strangers to adore our children. We still slow down, but no longer come to a complete stop. When said stranger turns out to be TOTALLY freaky, we speed away! So, at "aw, 2 little girls," I smiled at her, but kept walking, so "you'll have to buy lots of birth control" was called slightly louder. When a person looks at 6 month old baby girls and thinks "they're going to have sex," we RUN, so by the time she was calling for us to polish a gun she was shouting this! At the elementary school! While holding her own daughter's hand!

Also, (can there really be more?) I did not even wait until she was out of ear shot before I looked at my sister and said "Why would birth control ever be the first thought? Obviously my babies are not going to be sexually active for another 35 years." Even though she must have heard me she kept tossing these one-liners, as though to prove how funny she was. Not so much!

So let this be a lesson. Don't be inappropriately weird!

25 Things

Remember a couple of years ago when writing "notes" on facebook was all the rage? Remember the challenge to come up with 25 random things about yourself in one sitting? Well I thought I'd take my own spin on that idea and share with you 25 things that are different about my daughters. I know they are fraternal twins, but before they were born I was really freaking out about mixing them up! One of the most common questions to me still is "can you tell them apart easily?" The answer is totally "yes," and now you too will know my secrets!

I will start with some purely physical traits.

1. V is blonde and L has dark hair.
2. Their skin tones are different; V has an olive tone (like Daddy), and L is pale white!
3. They both have blue eyes, but V's stayed the bright baby blue while L's turned a dark grey/blue.
4. L's nose is more narrow than V's.
5. V has a longer face shape (like Mommy), and L's face is heart-shaped.
6. Their hairlines are different! When they were about a month old L went totally bald on top and now she is still missing some from above both eyebrows (like....shhhh).
7. L has a cleft in her chin!
8. V has dimples in her cheeks!
9. V is taller and generally bigger.
10. Even though she is smaller than her sister, L looks more like a michelin baby with her arm and leg rolls!
11. Their feet are different. V has my feet, which I didn't think were weird, but apparently our big toes are significantly larger than the rest of our toes, which are skinny and longer than most other people's toes.
12. The best physical difference? You can't see it as much now, but when they were born they each had one ear that was pointy, like an elf ear. For V is was her right ear and for L it was her left. :)

Now on to the personality, or personal choices differences.

13. V has discovered her thumb, and will not take a soother, L loves her sookie.
14. V rolls over as soon as you put her on the floor.
15. L tries to sit up no matter what. She does some fabulous crunches trying to will herself up!
16. They both have a baby-alive doll that laughs when you squeeze her belly, and I bought them both princess dolls (Rapunzel for V, and Cinderella for L) when we were in Edmonton. V loves her dolly, L loves her baby!!
17. If I am not vigilant with the hair elastic, V loves to grab fistfuls of my hair and squirm around!
18. L loves to grab my face. Mostly my lips. She may be trying to shut me up.

The last section is for special noises. Boy do my daughters ever sound different!

19. V says "Dadadadadadadadadadada." L says "Ah-daDEE ah-daDEE!"
20. When happily playing on her own, V sounds like an owl. "Whooo whooo whooo oh oh whooo."
21. You know in that Shrek movie when Snow White starts singing the Led Zepplin battle cry? That's what L sounds like when she's happy.
22. When they are not so happy they sound just as different. V has a crack in her cry where her voice suddenly goes up an octave in every breath. It makes her sound like a song bird. L just cries the "typical" cry.
23. V has a fake cough. It's been genetically passed down to her from her great grandfather who loves to play tricks. You may have heard of him? He turned 80 the other day.
24. L sings. It's so cute. She'll sing when we're walking, or she's rocking, or falling asleep.
25. V has started to squeak when she laughs. L still has the silent baby laugh. I can't wait to hear both of them LOL! :)

Quick Funny

Usually this sort of thing would end up on my "X quotes" page, but it's more of a story than a simple quote.

Last night X was having a bath, and started laughing. This is what was said:

X: Hey Mom. You know those Walter the Farting Dog books?
Me: Yeah.
X: They're funny.
Me: True.
X: You know what would be funny?
Me: What?
X: If there was a book called "Xander..." because he's real. That's me. I'm Xander.
Me: Right....?
X: The book would be called "Xander the Farting Man." Because I just farted in the tub.

My son, the comic genius.

Happy 80th!

I've been wondering over the last few days how I would re-enter the world of blogging with grace. Today lends me the perfect opportunity, as it is my grandfather's 80th birthday today! The picture above was taken in the summer of 2010 at my sister's wedding. Handsome couple, are they not? I thought I would like to share some of my memories of my grandfather, a man full of stories, pranks, and an impressive arsenal of farm animal sound effects.

I was talking to Pop on the phone the other day, and he told me that "the government" sent someone to the house to asses him since he's 80 now. This scared me. Not because I think he's old, or feeble, or feeble minded. Not at all. I worried about the tricks he would have played on this poor government official. Let me explain by example.

Back in the day, when farm trucks that were held together by baler twine were still allowed on the road, a new RCMP member was posted near the farm. Pop's truck was a green beast; large, temperamental and ugly. It was mechanically questionable enough that when the officer was driving behind the truck, he believed Pop to be intoxicated. When Pop was pulled over, he decided to have fun with the young officer! Who pretends to be drunk when pulled over?! And gets away with it?! Pop. Now, if you have ever been on a country road, you know that they are not sophisticated enough to have white painted along the side. A strip of yellow down the centre is all you get, and if you can't see how wide it is, that's your problem. The officer, obviously quoting from a memorized script asked Pop to please walk along the white line. Pop slowly turns his head from side to side and says, "Don't see the white line. They all look yeller t'me!" By the time Pop was done with him, I'm sure the officer was the more befuddled of the two. He never pulled Pop over again either, just politely nodded when The Beast meandered by.

When I asked Pop how he treated the visiting government official, he admitted that Nan had to pull him back on track when he started "giving a line of guff." Oh boy.

Recently Nan finally convinced Pop to be done with livestock. In MY lifetime they've had cows, foxes, rabbits, chickens, ducks, geese, and a collection of roosters. Oh, and cats. Can't forget the cats. They're not allowed in the house, but they get the best table scraps of any pet I've ever known. In addition to these critters, they have at times babysat donkeys, sheep, horses and anything else a neighbour may have needed to drop off. Pop is also generous to a fault. The fault is trying to give away animals to ANY child who visits. There is no need to ask parents. If a child wants an animal, he or she should have one! Kittens, bunnies, chicks, calves, whatever. Yes he did give away a cow to a kid who was in 4-H and needed one. There were always random people stopping at the farm to either admire Nan's gardens, or check out the bunnies. And by random, I mean people that not even Nan and Pop knew! It was just the place to go!

I know that with only these two examples, you'll have only a tiny idea of my Pop, but I don't know if this blog could handle all the stories! Like arriving at our house at 6am on Christmas day before any of us were even awake yet, wondering if Santa had been! His fantastic quotes like "Whoa Malippa!" referring to any vehicle he was driving, or "Right or wrong, Shirley, right or wrong?" Referring to my Nan, usually when he's sure he's right. If my scanner was out I'd show you some older pics. Maybe when there's more order to my house! :)

I hope you let me come back to blogging! I can't promise to be regular, but I promise to try to get more up here! :)